post 110: This is what you do when you're set for life..

and you're famous athlete Plaxico Burress.

Here's how the plasticene Giant has spent his season so far:

• Sept 4: Signs a five year, $35 million contract, of which he'll earn $11 mil this year. Celebrates with a big night against Washington.
• Sept. 14: Puts up big numbers again.
• Sept 21: Bengals hold him to three catches and no TDs.
• Sept 24: Blows off a team meeting during the bye week, doesn't return the team's calls to his cell, and is suspended for the next game and docked two weeks of pay (about $235K).  Files grievance against league, because how dare they?
• Sept 28: FOXSports reveals Burress has been fined "40 to 50 separate times since 2005". Giants management smacks forehead, says "Crap, how did we forget about that?"
• Sept 29: CBS reports Burress may be fined for failure to report two domestic dispute incidents that resulted in restraining orders. (Note that he's not fined for the incident itself, only for not reporting it... shocking, I know, but keep reading.)
• Oct 9: NY Post reports Burress trashed a rented SUV and didn't bother reporting it to the agency (and didn't return their calls; at least he's consistent). Unimpressed rental agency turns matter over to collection.
• Oct 14: Four catches and a TD vs Cleveland.
• Oct 19: Playing with a torn pinky tendon, he gets three for 24 yds and a TD vs San Francisco. Argues with coach about angrily ripping off his helmet after a bad call. Coach says Burress used a "naughty word." Reports that the word was "poopybutt" were unconfirmed. Calls out officials after the game (to the media, not to the officials, shockingly).
• Oct 22: Skips practice due to sore shoulder and stiff neck.
• Oct 23: Hospitalized due to soreness in neck.
• Oct 25: Fined $45k by league for his SF tantrums.
• Oct 26: Held out of 1st quarter against Pittsburg, goes for three/15 and a TD.
• Nov 2: Three catches, 34 yards, no scores vs Dallas, with two bad drops.
• Nov 10: One catch for 17 and a TD.
• Nov 16: Three catches for 47 and no score at Baltimore.
• Nov 20: Misses practice all week with a hamstring injury.
• Nov 23: Tweaks hammie at Arizona in 1st quarter, no catches.
• Nov 24: Says "Hamstrings are funny." Guess that's why they call them hamstrings.
• Nov 27: Still not practicing.
• Nov 28: Declared out for Washington this week. Better find something to do quick... hey, let's go clubbing!
• Nov 28: Hospitalized at 2AM for a gunshot wound, Plax tells police he "accidentally shot himself" in an incident at the Latin Quarter nightclub in Manhattan's Lexington Hotel while "partying" with two teammates and his wife Tiffany and an "unidentified man".
• Nov 29: The loaded weapon Plax apparently felt it was a good idea to take into a nightclub in Manhattan wasn't licensed in New York. NYPD shows up for a chat at Plax's home in Totowa, NJ, where Tiffany tells them to fuck off because she watches a lot of TV and they don't got no jurisdiction. NYPD hangs out for 37 minutes anyway just in case she was kidding. They come back a few hours later but, finding nobody home, leave without being told to fuck off.
• Nov 29: NY Post reports that Burress shot himself while "fumbling with a gun in the vestibule" of the nightclub. He reportedly was trying to unload the gun, apparently not understanding that pulling the trigger is not always the preferred technique for same.
• Nov 29: Giants are reportedly "tired of Burress's act." 

I know, the young, athletic and rich are different from you and me (well, certainly from *me*), but how much hubris do you have to absorb for your brain to not undertand that it's probably not cool to pack unlicensed heat at a Manhattan nightclub after midnight when you're a high-profile athlete? 

It remains to be seen whether Plax will be given a Jock's Pass and avoid prosecution of a weapons felony that ordinary citizens would risk 3 to 5 years in Sing Sing for.

All will, of course, be forgiven if he wins the city another Super Bowl.