Classics from Denis Leary's Family Cookbook

(from his book Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid which is really hilarious but nowhere close to what anyone would call politcally correct so consider this a warning. Or an endorsement.)

CABBAGE POTATO CHUCK ROAST

• 14 sticks of butter
• pinch of salt
• cabbage
• Seven hundred potatoes
• 2 pounds chuck roast beef

Place chuck roast, potatoes and cabbage into a very large pot of already boiling water. Boil for five hours. Turn heat down to a simmer. Drop in 14 sticks of butter and pinch of salt. Let boil for one more hour. Then another fifteen minutes. Then a couple more minutes. Make sure all germs and taste have been boiled out. Serve.

(and, because good Catholics had to eat something on Fridays...)

FISH

• One loaf Wonder Bread
• 8 sticks butter
• Cabbage
• Seven hundred potatoes
• Six boxes Gorton's Frozen Fish Sticks
• Two large bottles ketchup

Place fish sticks in flat pan in oven. Turn knob up as far as it will go. Place cabbage and potatoes in large pot of already boiling water. Wait twenty minutes. Take fish sticks out while middle seems to still be frozen. Pour ketchup over them until they disappear beneath a sea of red. Wait another hour for flavor to evaporate from cabbage and potatoes and they are soft to the touch. Make sign of the cross. Serve.